When you feel nothing
I can't leave the past behind
My friend, part of you still lives in a year that has ended. Your mind goes back there as into an old house: to see it once more, understand it once more, change something once more. But the past can no longer be moved. It can only be seen differently. You don't have to forget it in order to go on. You only have to let it be the past, not the present. What happened is part of you. It no longer has to make your decisions for you.
Questions for you
What am I really looking for when I go back there?
A possible answerMaybe an answer, maybe an apology, maybe the person you were then. Once you know what you're looking for, you can look for it in the present too.
What story do I always tell about my past, and is it the whole story?
A possible answerOften we repeat a single version: the one where we lost. Try telling it from the side where you endured, learned, loved.
What do I believe would happen if I let the past pass?
A possible answerSome fear they'd betray what was, others that they'd forget what they learned. You can keep the lesson without keeping the wound open.
What would I build with the strength I give to the past?
A possible answerThoughts about what was consume a lot. If you moved even part of that toward a project, a relationship or rest, the present would start to carry weight.
Tonight's practice
Write in a few lines what happened. Then write one sentence that begins with “Now”. Keep only that sentence.
A thought to keep
“You may look back. Just don't sit down there.”
Open this moment in the interactive guide