When it hurts
I feel alone, even around people
My friend, you can sit at a full table and feel as if you were behind glass. You talk, you smile, you answer, and no one sees what lies beyond. Loneliness is not measured by how many people are in the room, but by how many truly know you. Sometimes we hide so well, so as not to be a bother, that no one has any way left to find us. It is not your fault, nor theirs. It is a wall built out of politeness. And a wall of politeness comes down with a single honest sentence.
Questions for you
Is there one person I could show, a little, how I really am?
A possible answerThere is usually at least one, even if not the closest. You don't have to show everything. Start with a small truth: “This week has been hard.” See what they do with it.
When did I last feel that someone truly saw me?
A possible answerLook at what was happening then: who you were with, what you were doing, how much you let yourself be you. That is a sign of the kind of closeness you need.
What stops me from asking for a little company?
A possible answerOften the fear of being a bother, or of being turned down. But most people are glad to be asked. A no says something about their day, not about your worth.
Where could I be among people without having to talk much?
A possible answerA class, a choir, a gym, volunteering, a library. Closeness grows slowly out of repeated meetings, not out of big conversations.
Tonight's practice
Send a short message today to someone you care about, with no reason and no joke: “I was thinking of you. How are you, really?” Don't wait for a particular answer. You have already opened a door.
A thought to keep
“Only those you leave the door open for can find you.”
Open this moment in the interactive guide